covered in slime

I hate ultrasounds.

It's not just the unpleasantness of lying in a chilly room, covered in cold, goopy, gel.

It's not just the ugly robe and mind-numbing boredom of lying first on my back and then my sides, as I silently obey commands to, "Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out."

What really gets to me is the fact that there is a screen right in front of me that I cannot interpret. A screen that has the answers to whether the tumours in my liver have grown larger. Or if they have started to invade elsewhere.

I hate that the ultrasound technician, a stranger, can interpret the images yet can tell me nothing.

I really hate ultrasounds.

I see the oncologist on Friday. I hope to have results by then.

$87,973.90

Or $78,812 in US dollars. That's how much Jeanne, of the Assertive Cancer Patient (really good blog, check it out) has calculated that her insurance company pays for Herceptin in a year.

Drug companies are evil.

Thank goodness, once again, for socialized medicine.

And, boy, it costs a lot to keep me alive.

heartbreaker

An older woman (she was at least six) said to my four year old son, this evening, "You've stolen my heart."

They had known each other for approximately twenty minutes, as we waited for a big enough table to be ready at Swiss Chalet. She was the manager's daughter and they had been chasing each other around the restaurant foyer.

After we were seated, she came to our table and said, "I wish I could sit beside him."

This kind of thing happens everywhere we go with D. I shudder to think what the future brings. Let's just hope he uses his charisma wisely.

the many faces of four

My baby turned four on Sunday.

Smart, sweet, confident, challenging D.

We watched video of him as a baby today. Even then, he sparkled, a child who knows he is beautiful and loved.

D. is opinionated, tyrannical, loving, adventurous and funny.

I can't believe he's already four.

The Carnival of Risk # 24 is Up

The Carnival of Risk is up over at "The Digerati Life:""Welcome to the Carnival of Risk #24, where we showcase articles that discuss risk in all its forms, particularly touching on the subjects of risk management, insurance, investing and other articles on business and financial risk...read the rest.

Humana Caps Annual Increases on Consumer-Driven Plans--Too Bad it Isn't a Real Guarantee

Humana says it will cap annual increases on self-insured consumer-driven plans for three years.Two problems:Humana is capping the costs of its "SmartResults" self-insured plans and only putting 40% of their fees at risk. If they were really putting their money where their mouth is they would be capping the cost of fully insured plans--and if they are so confident on their self-insured product,

whiskers on kittens

I came up with this list this morning:

runners' legs

dog snoring

my coffee mug

the smell of lilacs

sunflowers

dark chocolate dipped in coffee

soft, beautiful yarn made from natural fibers

greg brown's voice

the back of my sons' necks

What would be on your list?