Sunday, February 25, 2007

channelling peggy lee

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is


I am tolerating chemo relatively well. I am no longer experiencing the rollercoaster of Herceptin side effects. But the routine is grinding me down. Two weeks on, one week off. And there is no end in sight (at least not an end I want to spend much time thinking about).

When I am feeling well (and even much of the time when I am not) I am rarely bored. I am, however struggling to fight some serious malaise. Not that long ago, life felt full of possibility. There were paths to chose and decisions to be made. And if any particular path didn't please me, I could easily change direction and try a new one.

Now that I am not working outside the home (my oncologist says that no insurance company would ever expect me to work again), I have time for other creative pursuits. But I need to shake off the funk brought on by two weeks on, one week off.

I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Today, I am going to do that in a pair of skates. Despite living three minutes (on foot) from the canal, I haven't been skating in a couple of years.

"If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing."

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