so damned tired

I am bordering on neutropenic again, which could explain why I have been feeling so rundown (and why the cold hit me so hard). My white blood count was very low on Tuesday, not low enough to cancel chemo but getting there.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for April 30 (and will get results at an appointment on May 4).

Meanwhile, I know the following:

• My liver is swollen, but not terribly so (and nowhere near where it was in November).
• My liver functions in two of the categories they test are normal. A third area was high but it is also the one the doctors worry about the least, as it can be indicative of other things going on with the body.
• It is not a good sign that I have been experiencing discomfort but my most constant stitch is nowhere near my liver (I really need to learn more about my own anatomy).
• The swelling and the fatigue could also be the result of my cold and my battered immune system.

I am feeling less stressed than I was on the week end (which isn't saying much, given that I was a wreck on the week end) and reassured enough that my worries are no longer top of mind.

So keep your fingers crossed for me.

And stay away from me if you are sick.

And for goodness sakes, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom (this is for the guy my spouse almost confronted at the cancer centre today, and who I'm sure isn't reading this).

Tomorrow, I will tell you about today's appointment with my radiation oncologist, another laugh or cry experience (I chose to laugh). My spouse has decided that I need to get one of these t-shirts and wear them to all future appointments.

I think he's right.