
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Health Insurance Industry: Crossing the road is not a covered benefit and, because we weren't informed about the bird's pre-existing tendency to cross roads, have issued a rescission effective three years prior.
Healthways: We regularly survey thousands of chickens with that question. We think this question can be applied to turkeys and guinea hens.
Lifemasters: Um, the chicken didn't make it across the road.
The PHI Institute: Compared to what?
The Dartmouth Atlas: We looked at regional variation involving the road-crossing patterns of dead chickens and can find no explanation for it. It must be preference sensitive.
Mainstream Media News: Fowl on Foul Road Prowl: Bird Defies Death, Seeks Safety From Evil Insurers!
The DMAA Care Continuum Alliance: If crossing the road was a desired outcome, our members' engagement strategies were responsible for it and that service should be covered by all health insurers and Medicare.
Academic Medical Centers: To find out, we'd like the government to fund large studies that randomly assign a valid sample of chickens to a road, another sample without a road and prospectively measure both groups over many years of comparative effectiveness research.
Medicare: So that we can be billed for it 10,000 times by a suppliers in Florida.
The Senate Confirmed CMS Administrator: blank
Bloggers: We don't know, but we'll be happy to speculate on why - or why not - for days on end.
The DMCB: To avoid having to watch the maudlin blubbering in The Biggest Loser
The DMCB Spouse: You have a ceiling to paint.
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