beautiful eyes

That's what struck me when I met Sarah in person: she had the most beautiful deep brown eyes I had ever seen, with a lovely smile to match.

It was February 2010 and we were both in attendance at the Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer. We had met online through our online community, Mothers With Cancer.

A short time after we met, Sarah found out that her breast cancer had become metastatic and she began treatment anew. A few weeks ago, she learned that the cancer had spread to her brain and she started radiation treatment. A couple of days ago, she was admitted to hospital with breathing issues. Last night, she passed away.

I won't claim to have known beautiful Sarah better than I did. But I did consider her my friend. And I will miss her.

Here are some things I knew about this remarkable woman:

She loved her three daughters very much and she was incredibly proud of them.

She was happily married.

She was a talented photographer.

She loved animals, especially dogs and horses.

She had an appreciation for good coffee.

She left this world way too soon.

Sarah, you will truly be missed. My heart goes out to your family and to all who loved you.

You can read more about Sarah at her blog, Spruce Hill. Tributes have also been posted by Jenny (cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer), Susan, Nicole, Ree and Mary Beth.

Note: Blogger was down for about 20 hours and when it came back up, this post was gone (as were the comments from my previous post). If you are seeing this twice in a row on the blog, it will be because Blogger has returned it to me.

not really the end

Did you know that the world is going to end on May 21st, 2011? I saw a guy on a street corner today with a sign that said just that. And then I saw a big-ass caravan with the same message.

Contemplation of our impending collective doom helps to put yesterday's election into perspective. It doesn't matter if the Conservatives were gifted with a whopping majority if none of us is going to live long enough to deal with the consequences. There must be more of these end of the world types than I previously suspected. That would help me understand how it is that so many of us thought endorsing the Conservatives would be a good idea.

Or something. You'll have to forgive me, it's been a hell of a day. I stayed up way too late watching the election results and then stumbled around like a zombie all day. I'm delirious.

I even went across town to an appointment, only to discover that it's on Thursday.

It was a very odd feeling last night to watch the NDP take over 100 seats (the previous high having been 43) and not feel elated. Proud, yes but not elated. I just kept watching the Conservative and NDP numbers rise at the same time and feeling like my head was going to explode.

Those of us who oppose pettiness, meanness and bigotry and who support human rights and democracy (not to put too fine a point on things) have four years to get our act together. 

And I think we need to really start screeching about proportional representation.

Meanwhile, I really am thrilled that my party is going to be the Official Opposition. There is hope for the good guys (thanks, good guys, for working so hard to get yourselves and like-minded folk elected). I'm thankful to all the volunteers, staff and veteran politicians and candidates who worked so hard to make this happen.

And, even if I am slightly hysterical, I'm choosing to repeat the words of one of the surprised, young, brand new MPs from Quebec, "It's going to be all right."

i can relate to this...

...and so can, I would wager, anyone who has been harassed by  condescended to infantilized by dealt with an insurance company on health related matters.

Especially if you have been on long-term disability for any length of time, you can expect regular correspondence. Blogger Katherine describes this experience:

"But as sure as the swallows return to Capistrano, every March CIGNA sends me information on its Cancer Support program. Last year’s began “Good health is a gift.” This year’s reads like a grade school report:


Dear KATHERINE O’BRIEN:


The American Cancer Society estimates that two men and one in three women will face cancer in their lifetime. Although these are scary statistics, CIGNA HealthCare wants you to know we’re here to help…"

Most of us just sigh, groan, maybe yell a little and then toss the letters into the recycling bin (unless it is one of the letters making demands to send information we have alread sent them SEVERAL TIMES. Then we scream a little louder, call the company, get transferred to voice mail, leave a message and then never hear back, send the info as requested and then get ANOTHER LETTER requesting the SAME INFORMATION and scream some more. Or maybe that's just me.). After years of this kind of correspondence, Katherine decided to write back (CIGNA is her insurance company):

"Dear DOUG:


Thank you for your letter of March 2010! I couldn’t agree more that good health is a gift! I was blown away that you want to help me make the most of it.


It was gratifying to know that “as health care claims are submitted to us, we review them and identify steps you might take to help improve your health.” Gosh. I feel a little guilty. I mean, you are poring over my health claims and I am doing bupkis for you. Maybe I could clean out the coffee room fridge in Bloomfield some time? Police the parking lot? Just let me know.


As you might have gleaned from your research, I have metastatic breast cancer. My doctor says that in 2010, there’s no cure for metastatic breast cancer. Of course that’s what she said in 2009. So I do intend to doublecheck in 2011. I will keep you posted...


...I think it is important to take care of me, too. I see Dr. Gaynor once a month. It might be hard to see her more regularly than that. Unless she wants to join my mahjong group. I will make inquiries."

You can read the rest of the letter and Katherine's post about it on her blog, ihatebreastcancer. Thanks to Anna Rachnel (ccchronicles) of The Cancer Culture Chronicles for telling us about Katherine's letter via Twitter.

my kids are alright

I had a dream a few nights ago.

My kids were in a giant flash mob, dancing their hearts out, surrounded by dozens of other kids and adults. They were exuberant and focused, their movements fluid and in synch with those around them. My heart swelled with pride and joy.

I learned that the flash mob had been created to drum up excitement over an upcoming performance. In a couple of hours, my kids would go on stage and perform. I could tell they were ready.

Then I was handed a note. My own performance was scheduled for right after theirs. I was wholly unprepared. I hadn't even looked at my script. I was rushing off to find it when my alarm went off.

Sacha was in a play very recently. And they did organize a flash mob a week before the performance, as a form of advertisement. And Sacha performed beautifully. My heart did swell with pride.

In part, my subconscious might have been remembering the play but I choose to believe that I was also sending myself a message.

Life with metastatic breast cancer is filled with uncertainty. But no matter what happens, my kids will be fine. They are smart, talented, resourceful and resillient. They have friends and family who love them. My kids will be alright.

vote early, vote often

I watched last night's English language election debate with interest. I was shocked at how quickly the two hours passed, although this was greatly aided by the fact that I wrote and read a steady stream of commentary on Twitter and Facebook (sorry to my followers and friends who don't give a damn about the Canadian federal election!). It helped me to keep watching without blowing a gasket. I felt like I was at a bar with friends hooting and hollering, except that I was in my basement drinking tea with my son and my spouse (another advantage to Tweeting during the debate was that I had to keep looking down at my Blackberry. This kept the orange decor from searing my retinas and Harper's cold eyes from turning me to stone).

I thought that all the opposition party leaders did well. Duceppe delivered the best opening line ("Congratulations, Mr. Harper, for answering your first question from a citizen during this election campaign.") but petered off  towards the end. It's got to be brutal doing a two-hour debate in one's second language. By and large, I find it a pity that the Bloc only speaks for Quebec, as they are so consistenly solid on most social issues. They lose me, however, when it comes to questions of immigration and multi-culturalism. Nationalism and multiculturalism don't go so well together.

Layton was calm and measured and many people with whom I've spoken found his performance to be much stronger than in previous debates. Personally, I would have liked him to be a bit more aggressive, as he left it to Ignatieff to drive home the points that are near and dear to my heart. Kudos to him for mentioning proportional representation and for this seriously funny (but cheap) line: "I don't know why we need more prisons when the crooks seem so happy in the Senate."

I thought the evening, however, belonged to Ignatieff. He stayed on message (although I found "You shut down what you can't control" to be more effective the first time he said it than the tenth) and was forceful and articulate. He hit all the right notes on all the key issues and challenged Harper on gun control, immigration, crime, health care and transparency. He looked positively Prime Ministerial (my favourite Iggy line of the night, "This isn't bickering Mr. Harper. It's democracy.")

Is any of this going to change my vote? Absolutely not. I remember when the Liberals were in power and they were singing from a different songbook then. Happily, my NDP candidate is an incumbent who has done an excellent job, locally and for the country. I'll vote for Paul Dewar and I won't even have to hold my nose.

But if I lived in a riding where the race was one between the Tories and the Liberals? I just might be voting strategically this time around.

Perhaps none of it will make a difference though. All the pundits who did wrap-up commentary last night seemed to agree that Harper had won the evening. Even my beloved Chantal Hébert was unhesitating in her praise of Harper's performance. Did Canadians watching at home feel the same way? Did undecided voters? Do any undecided voters watch the debates?

I can't recall a time when I have felt as strongly about voting. I keep reading assertions that if all eligible voters under 25 and all women voted, Harper would be out on his ass.

Let's make that happen, shall we?

early memories

A few childhood memories remain incredibly vivid. Some have been worn into grooves in my brain, they have been retold so often. With those, I am unsure where my recollections end and those of others begin. Others, I am quite certain, are mine alone.

Here are twenty memories, off the top of my head. Some I have likely shared here before but of some others, I have never spoken, let alone written:

1. Sliding down the driveway at my friend's house, until my pants were worn out. I was wearing a jump suit with giraffes on it and I was in big trouble.

2. Being in love with an airline pilot. He was my aunt's boyfriend and he brought me presents from all over the world. He also called me Miss Muffet.

3. My father telling me that my baby sister had been born.

Those first three memories were from when we lived in Montreal. We moved away just after I turned four. All the rest are from Hawkesbury, Ontario and take place before my 11th birthday.

4. Going to the Dairy Queen with my aunt to get a Buster Bar and dropping it on the way home.

5. Getting caught peeing in my neighbour's rose bushes.

6. Ringing doorbells with my friends and running away.

7. Knocking on my neighbours' doors and asking them for their autographs.

8. Having the belt on my blue coat ripped off by a boy.

9. Being pushed into a bush by some bullies on my way home from school.

10. Trying to ignore a class-mate who was standing at my desk chanting "Tête carrée!" (It means square head and was the standard put down that francophones used against anglos. I had an English last name, and spoke English at home, so I was fair game).

11. The boy I liked in Grade Five telling me that all the boys, including him, had crushes on my best friend.

12. Making up sins in confession because I was too embarassed to tell anything real to the priest. "I talked back to my mother" was a frequent sin.

13. Winning a medal for "best behaved girl" on the same day as my crush won "best behaved boy."

14. My friend Philippe telling me how babies were made - through kissing. I was fascinated and horrified.

15. Being on the winning team during Carnaval at Ecole Marguerite Bourgeois.

16. The way the principal of that school smelled like pipe tobacco and how much I loved him.

17. Being flashed, as I cut through the church yard on my way to school.

18. Seeing a dog that had been hit by a car on the street in front of my house and how it felt like hours until the city came to take it away.

19. Getting a red bike with a yellow banana seat for my 7th birthday.

20. Bringing my new cat across the street to meet my neighbour and telling her "If you don't like my cat, then I can't come to visit you anymore."

Your turn. Can you share some random childhood memories?

questions for candidates

From the Canadian Breast Cancer Network: Questions to ask your local candidates during the election campaign

 

Question 1: The Financial Impact of Breast Cancer

  

In May 2010, the Canadian Breast Cancer Network released the research report entitled Breast Cancer: Economic Impact & Labour Force Re-Entry, which firmly positioned breast cancer as an economic as well as a healthcare issue.

  

The economic impact of breast cancer is significant, and in many cases devastating for patients and their families. 80% of respondents experienced an economic impact following their diagnosis, often with distressing long-term financial consequences.

  

Some report findings:

• Average decline in household income was $12,000 or 10% of family income
• 44% of respondents used savings, while 27% took on debt
• One fifth of respondents returned to work before they were ready because of financial pressure
• Those who had chemotherapy had a greater loss of household income and were 49% more likely to take longer than 16 weeks off work

Survey respondents reported that the average duration of their breast cancer treatment was 38 weeks, and two-thirds of the respondents took 16 weeks or more off from work. Because Employment Insurance Sickness Benefits last for a maximum of 15 weeks, there was an average gap of 23 weeks during treatment without coverage.

  

If elected, will your government:

  

A. Lengthen Employment Insurance Sickness Benefits for Canadians undergoing treatment for breast and other cancers as well as other illnesses and chronic diseases that require long periods of treatment so that no one who is ill is penalized by the current limit of 15 weeks of sickness benefits?

  

B. Cancel the two-week waiting period for EI Sickness Benefits so that sick Canadians are not penalized?

  

C. Immediately extend the Employment Insurance Compassionate Care Benefit to cover family caregivers providing care to those with breast cancer, other cancers and other long-term conditions?

a. Increase the benefit to 75% of workers' earnings?

b. Increase the benefit period to a maximum of 52 weeks?

c. Allow partial weeks of compassionate care leave over a longer period?

d. Expand the eligibility criteria beyond imminent death within 26 weeks?

  

Question 2: Drug Approval Process in Canada

  

The drug approval process in Canada is lengthy and complex. Currently the performance targets as outlined on the Health Canada website is 300 days for "non-priority" drugs and 180 days for "priority" drugs.

  

Once drugs are approved by Health Canada, cancer drugs pass through the Pan-Canadian Oncology Drug Review (pCODR), formally the Joint Oncology Drug Review (JODR).This process can take up to a year for recommendation to be made. Provinces and territories may then either confirm or disagree with pCODR's recommendations, often resulting in further significant delays and an uneven patchwork of drug coverage across Canada.

  

Cancer patients in Canada face unduly long waits for much-needed drugs, and medications available in one province or territory may not be available in another. But when it comes to cancer treatment, especially for advanced or metastatic cancer, time is of the essence.

  

If elected, how will your government:

  

A. Ensure that the approval processes for new treatments are shortened to permit timely access to new treatments for those who need them

B. Ensure that no cancer patient in Canada goes without internationally recognized gold standard treatments

  

Question 3: Wait Times 

The Canadian Breast Cancer Network's 2008 Breast Cancer Wait Times in Canada Report Card showed that not all Canadian women are receiving equal access to breast cancer treatment. The project was undertaken in order to gather information about what happens across Canada in terms of wait times in four important areas: from abnormal screen to diagnosis, from diagnosis to surgery, time to radiation, time to chemotherapy.

  

We found some outstanding examples of best practices and much evidence that many jurisdictions across the country are working on innovative solutions to the wait time issue. However, the most disconcerting finding was that there are no national benchmarks for wait times and no standards for wait time reporting systems across the continuum of care. The data reported are calculated differently across jurisdictions making it impossible to compare wait times. This has not changed since 2008.

  

In the absence of comprehensive and consistent wait times data, there is no certainty that people diagnosed with breast cancer are receiving optimal care.

  

This is a complex issue. There needs to be national benchmarks for maximum wait times for diagnosis and treatment. Electronic health records must include consistent reporting of wait times across jurisdiction. Best practices must be shared and implemented across the country. Access to timely cancer care cannot depend upon ones postal code.

  

If elected, how will your government:

  

A) Provide the infrastructure necessary to ensure comprehensive and consistent standards for wait time reporting for breast cancer diagnosis and treatment across Canada

B) Ensure that national benchmarks are established for wait times associated with surgery and chemotherapy

C) Ensure the adoption of electronic health records

  

  

Join our survivor advocate campaign and make canada's decision makers aware of the issues that are important to you. Contact khurley@cbcn.ca for more information on how a little bit of your time can make a big impact.

giving in to the monkey brain

Herceptin

I think I'm happy with the outcome of the brouhaha over Herceptin in Ontario. For those of you outside the province or outside the loop. Jill Anzarut, a 35 year old woman undergoing treatment for breast cancer made the news last week when she announced that the province had to pay for Herceptin because her Her2+ tumour was less than one centimetre (that's about 1/4 inch) in diameter.

The province initially refused to budge but eventually caved after a massive campaign played out in the social and traditional media. Access to Herceptin will now much more room for discretion when it comes to providing access to the drug.

I feel good about this. It's not that I think that every drug should be funded for every person. Her2+ cancers are very aggressive and, as best put by Stephen Chia, chair of the British Columbia breast-tumour group, “In HER-2 positive cancers, it’s not the size that drives it; it’s the HER-2 gene that drives it.” 

Election

Canadians are once again going to the polls. I am not happy about this. 

I'm sad that the long overdue Bill C-389 protecting the rights of transgendered people will die before it gets the chance to be thrown out by the Senate.

I'm worried that we will end up with a Conservative majority.

I have election fatigue. There was a time in my life when an election would make me feel excited and hopeful. Now I just think, "Ugh."

Presents in the mail

Did you see my scrabble pendant in yesterday's post? My friend Leslie sent it to me after I told her I'd like to have on with my initial on it. It made me very happy to open the envelope that held my surprise.

The bad with the good

Last week, I received my author's copy of the current issue of Canadian Woman Studies. The theme this quarter is Women and Cancer and I have a poem that is part of a piece called "Seven Reflections on Breast Cancer by Seven Women Who Worked Together." I'm happy about that.

I'm far less happy about another piece I stumbled on when I was leafing through the issue. It's called "The Private/Public Split in Breast Cancer Memoirs." It was written by a woman who came to my book launch in Toronto and asked for permission to speak in order to seek contributions - something to which I readily agreed. She also asked me to contribute to the issue, which prompted me to reach out to my writing group.

I had no idea that she planned to write a scathing deconstruction of my book - but that's what she did. I know that all writers get bad reviews but I found her comments to be very critical of me as a person (I guess you can't seperate the analysis of a memoir from its author) and quite unfair. 

I'm sure how to respond or react, or whether I should do so at all. I've actually been unable to finish reading the article. With a distinct lack of maturity, I threw the journal onto the living room floor and it stayed there for several days. I only just picked it up, in order to write this post.

I'll let you know what I decide to do. Meanwhile, I'm pasting my very own contribution below. It's a very small part of a greater whole (and not the strongest piece by the seven of us by any stretch) but it's mine and, like all my writing, expresses a little bit of what has been in my heart.

Snap shots

December 2^nd, 2005.

When I close my eyes, I see myself as I was then.

Short dark hair and boots with heels.

Irritable and excited in equal measure.

I knew big change was coming. And it did. But it was not what I expected.

I was getting undressed when I found the lump.

July 1^st, 2006

I close my eyes and see myself as I was then.

Round, bald and bloated. But happy.

Chemo is behind me. Or so I expect.

I am self-conscious but also hungry.

I eat two burgers at the barbecue.

December 24^th, 2006

I close my eyes and see myself as I was.

I rallied for Christmas Eve but in the end the pain got the best of me.

My liver was riddled with tumours. And I had waited too long for the morphine.

My mother had to put me to bed. That comforted me.

And so did the drugs.

June 25^th, 2007

I close my eyes and I can taste

The strawberries on my tongue

The sensual pleasure of the whipped cream

And the Niagara ice wine as it slid down my throat.

I knew I would soon have something to celebrate.

December 16^th, 2009

I close my eyes so I can think.

I have now been in remission for 30 months.

And I will be in treatment for the rest of my life.

Some days I wake up celebrating.

Some days I grieve for what I have lost.

Today is a sad day.

Tomorrow will be better. Or maybe the day after that.

welcome to my life

Earlier this week, my friend K. sent me an article from the New York Times that was the best piece of journalistic writing on metastatic breast cancer I've ever read. And I've read a lot on this subject.

I cried when I read it (but as I told K., in a good way) because it resonated so deeply with me, juxtaposing the facts and the experiences of women living with cancer that can never be considered cured. I started to highlight the best bits to share with you here but ended up cutting and pasting more than two thirds of the article.

I've decided that it's best not violate copyright or my own ethics and just post the link and ask you to please go read this article:

A Pink Ribbon Race, Years Long.

guest blogging!

I was honoured to be asked to be this week's guest blogger for the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation (the folks who organized my recent makeover).

Let me know what you think. I even like the photo they're using! 

why i love twitter

People often ask what it is I love about Twitter. I tell them how useful it is to get advice and share information - about resources, local business, good things to read, etc. I also love the quick exchanges of ideas, the wit and the humour.

Twitter is fun.

And last week, I found a new reason to love Twitter. Trading. Check out the two exchanges below in which I gained a Canada Reads book from the author and the best quiche that I've ever eaten. Read each conversation from the bottom up (sorry it's so small and blurry - click on each image to make it larger and much easier to read).

Postcript: When I couldn't figure out how to capture and embed Twitter conversations, I turned to Twitter for help. I got several great responses and, in the end a friend who I met via LibraryThing and got to know on Twitter, actually the capturing forming and sent it to me as an email.

The blurriness is my fault but it's thanks to her I got it done.

I love social media.

happy new year!

In 2010, I:

Made soup.

Started running again and kept at it (in fact, I did the Resolution Run 5K last night before breaking into the wine and fondue).

Started editing my novel. It doesn't really have an ending yet but I don't totally hate what I've written, so that's a start.

Found a writing buddy.

Knit a lot of dish cloths.

Played lots of Scrabble/Lexulous

Had my heartbroken when my dog died.

Went to Florida in the in the summer to get away from a heat wave.

Spent some quality time with girlfriends.

Organized a team for the Run for the Cure, called No Pink for Profit. By run day, we were more than 40 women and we raised more than $20,000.

Fell in love with Twitter.

Finally got a smart phone.

Learned that grief is not a linear process.

Spent a lot of time thinking about community, friends and family. I am very, very lucky.

For 2011, I wish us all love, peace, good health and many wonderful adventures.

it gets better. and it can get better now, too.

Chances are very good that you've already heard of the It Gets Better Project, which was started in response to a series of suicides. Young people (some as young as 13 years old) are choosing to kill themselves rather than continue to deal with being bullied or shamed.

I love this powerful, touching and often funny series of videos aimed to give hope to young (and older) teens who are feeling depressed or alone because of their real or perceived sexual orientation.

This one from Pixar is the favourite in my house.




A day or two ago, The Maven shared this video on Facebook. These kids are saying that things need to get better now, not just in the future. It's brilliant and I am in awe.

Reteaching Gender and Sexuality from PUT THIS ON THE MAP on Vimeo.

and then my hair got did (final makeover post, i promise)

Of the four women being made over, two of us picked our clothes and shoes in the morning and then had our hair done after lunch. I was grateful to be in the afternoon group and have someone else do the work for a couple of hours.





Actually, I did have to do a bit of work. It took concentration to separate those little papers.





You can't really see all of them, but there are THREE little bowls of colout being applied to my head.





This is my favourite part.











And this is why my hair will never again look the way it did when Tony was finished with it. How does anyone do the back of their own head like that?







Thanks so much to Tony from L'Elégance Salon (they don't have a web site or I'd provide a link), the St. Laurent Centre and the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation for making all of this possible.



(All photos by S. Sioufi except the last which was provided by T. Vincent)

and then it got easier

It's not that I don't have anything else to talk about. It's just that life has been really, really busy lately and when I finally get the time to blog, my brain is no longer working.

I thought I'd continue sharing my makeover photo-story with you. Please feel free to move right along if you're bored with this stuff. Let me know in the comments if you've read anything interesting lately.

Meanwhile, the shoe store was more fun than the changing room:

First I had to pretend to be shopping for shoes, so that A Channel could get some footage.

Check out the heels on these babies.


I threw on this dress so that I could be filmed without ruining the surprise. It hadn't even been among the outfits that I considered but I loved it so much that I thought about changing my mind. Or going back a few days later and buying it. But seriously - where would I wear a second fancy outfit? To the dog park? Buying groceries? To parent-teacher interviews?


Can you tell which shoes I came in with?


It just occurred to me that the ones I chose (#53) look a bit like my old Blundstones mated with the those sexy pumps I looked at when I was still wearing the diva dress. Little boots but with a ridiculous heel.

See that crazy grin on my face? I love shopping for shoes.


Here's a better view of the whole ensemble. The St. Laurent Centre even paid to have my top altered. The outfit is hanging in my closet. I may just decide that I will wear it to the dog park.

chronological order

Arrived at the St. Laurent Centre with my friend SS, met the other women and realized that I was going to have an exciting day.


I was impressed with Tony from L'Elegance. He was consultative but had a pretty clear idea of what he wanted to do.


Trying on clothes was hard work. I don't have photos of some of the real duds or I would share (really I would). Finding items that fit and looked good was a real challenge and there were moments when I felt extremely frustrated. There were lots of great helpers, though.


I was determined to be open-minded but this was just too much sparkly for me. I felt like I was wearing a very shiny washboard.

makeover day

We arrived at the studio very early.

The anticipation was far worse than the experience of being on camera, which went pretty smoothly. And I didn't fall down!

The Fab Four with Tony from L'Elégance Hair (Tony gave us hours of his time - all day Monday and early Wednesday morning - taking great care with our colour and cuts. This lovely man is an artist. You should all go to St. Laurent Centre and get him to do your hair).

My favourite interviewer.

Blogging on the fly today (more pics and words about all of this soon) but I didn't want to let another day go by without acknowledging those who made this possible.

My friends AB for nominating me, SS for coming on Monday and MR for getting up early and joining my family at the studio.

My man and my boys (all photos courtesy of SKW) for the nomination, for getting up early to come to the studio and cheering every step of the way (and for saying that I was beautiful BEFORE I had the makeover).

The staff at Laura, Town Shoes, and L'Elégance Hair Salon.

Tasha and Renée from the St. Laurent Centre for the styling and the support.

To the lovely and talented woman who did all of our makeup on Wednesday morning (her name is escaping me. If you know it, please let me know so I can credit her).

And most of all, to Bernice from the St. Laurent Centre and Beth from the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. These women are dynamos who combine talent and determination with an enormous amount of compassion and kindness.

And finally, I need to mention Paula, JL and Tanya - the women with whom I went through this experience. The love, support and joy that each felt for each other and for me is impossible to express in words. Thanks so much for being so beautiful. I really do love each one of you.

It must be mentioned that this was all in aid of the Courage Campaign of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. The Foundation is building a Wellspring Centre that will provide "emotional, psychological and educational support, free of charge, to individuals and families living with cancer." As a an ongoing cancer patient, I can tell you that this the kind of thing that Ottawa needs desperately, to go along with the cutting edge medical care from which we all benefit.

It's not too late to make a donation! (The St. Laurent Centre, in addition to funding the makeovers, donated an additional $10,000 to the campaign. I know where I'm doing my Xmas shopping this year).

makeover show tomorrow

For those in the Ottawa area, my makeover will be televised on the A Channel tomorrow morning. My segments will air tomorrow morning at 9:13, 9:35 and 9:48.







Yesterday, I shopped and had my hair done. Tune in tomorrow for the big "reveal." Look at my smile in this pic. I was very spoiled and surrounded by amazingly caring people all day. I was overwhelmed by the kindness and enthusiasm of everyone I met, including the other three women who joined me in this adventure.

Thanks so much to the St. Laurent Centre and the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation for making this happen, to T. and AB for nominating me and to SS for coming with me for moral support (and taking all these great photos).

making an adventure

photo: M. Slavitch

Early Thursday afternoon, as I woke up from a nap (I'd been sleeping off the toxins of chemo), my spouse came down from his attic office with an odd look on his face.

"Are you ready for some news?"

"Is it good news or bad news?" I said, attempting wake up.

"Good news, I think." He was giggling and looked a little stunned.

"Remember when you asked me to nominate you for a makeover at St, Laurent Shopping Centre?"

My eyes widened.

"You're in!"

They he told me that I needed to go to the mall for shopping and consultation and then, on Wednesday, I would be going to /A\ Channel to be made over on the air.

In case you missed that last bit, I'll repeat that this is a TELEVISED MAKEOVER.

"There's more," Tim added as I sat opening and closing my mouth like a fish. "It's a holiday makeover. You know, so that you can be ready for all the holiday parties you go to."

I do not go to any holiday parties where I can't wear jeans and a t-shirt. In fact, that's the smartest thing to wear to most holiday parties I might possibly attend.

"She actually used the word 'sparkly'." My dear spouse was by this point, enjoying himself. "And you have to decide today."

When I read on Twitter that St. Laurent was asking for nominations for cancer survivor makeovers, I impulsively asked T. to submit my name. I was confident that I wouldn't be chosen because I figured they'd want someone who looked more like a cancer patient. And if I were chosen I thought I'd just go to the mall, get made over and then have some pictures taken for their web site.

But I did get chosen. And when I went on Twitter and Facebook and asked my peeps what I should do, the answer was unanimous - "Go for it!"

So I'm going for it.

This is all being organized by the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation and I do want to help draw attention to the good work that they do.

The St. Laurent Centre has some really great stores and I could end up with some great new gear and a fresh new look.

I could use the lift. It is easy to feel frumpy when you're out of the work force and pinching pennies. And chemo does take a physical as well as emotional toll.

And it could be fun.

So I've decided to approach this with an open mind and a spirit of adventure.

I'll let you know how it goes.